Narcissists Make Poor Leaders

By Mark Calkins

March 7, 2020

A narcissist is a poor leader. This is because they have many characteristics that are opposite of what strong leaders need.

Last year, George Conway, husband to Trump's counselor Kellyanne Conway, gave very strong reasons why Donald Trump is a psychopathetic narcissist, which makes him completely unfit for office of the POTUS.

Let's explore why Trump's narcissism makes him a poor leader and unfit for office.

Superiority. Narcissists believe they are many steps above others. They see themselves as number one in everything. Their superiority complex causes them to challenge anyone who criticizes or challenge them. When they face obstacles, they find fault with someone or something else. They can never make a mistake.

Superiority never works for a leader. Superiority is a turn off to others. Leaders need to be open to feedback from others, even when it points out a weak spot.

According to Trump, he is superior to everyone. He never accepts criticism. He is always right. He sees himself as immortal while everyone else is a mere human.

Intimidates and Bullies Others. Because narcissists see themselves as superior to others, they are excellent at pointing out the weaknesses of others. They do this through intimidation. They love to put others down and bully them. And anyone who challenges them becomes their next bully target.

True leaders are just the opposite. They strive to build up others and help them grow.

Trump is the master at intimidation and using Twitter as his bully pulpit. We see his bullying daily. He constantly puts others down. We have seen his constant insults, name-calling and bullying. In addition, he has so intimidated any GOP leader who disagrees with him, that they have all become his stooges.

Lack Accountability and Blame Others. One of the most classic signs of narcissism is their lack or accountability. When anything goes wrong, they never take the blame and look for someone or something else to blame. It is always someone else's fault when things aren't perfect.

Leadership requires completely accountability. Truman's "the buck stops here" is the leader's mantra.

Trump never takes the blame for anything. He is masterful at blaming others when things do not go the way he believes it should. He blames others for his mistakes and for things his presidency should have done.

Infallibility. Narcissits are arrogant to an extreme which leads them to see themselves as completely infallible while any one else deserves to be critized intensely.

Leaders acknowledge their weaknesses.

Trump constantly promotes himself as infallible. Therefore he should never be criticized. He should be able to do anything he wants to while president. The Russia probe and the impeachment trial should never have happened to him.

Admiration. Narcissists demand admiration beyond any normal person. If they aren't showered with praise, attention and validation, they get agitated. Their weak ego craves it. Any criticism of them is completely rejected. Narcissists have an unnatural focus on their self-image.

Leaders have strong self-esteem. They don't demand praise. They are open to criticism.

We have seen this with Trump throughout his presidency. He only likes people who constantly praise him. He not only rejects criticism, he immediately attacks anyone who criticizes or doesn't agree with him. Which means he'll never be open to learning about his blind spots.

Exaggeration. Narcissists are great at story telling because they typically stretch the truth to an extreme that they become outright lies. This is because they constantly need to impress, which leads them to exaggerate and omit facts to make their narrative better. And the more they exaggerate, the more they create their own alternate reality.

Strong leaders accept reality as it is. But that doesn't mean they do not strive to make things better.

Trump is the master of exaggeration and lying with his stories. He claimed to start on his own, except we learned that his father not only helped him start but constantly bailed him out. He claims to be a great business person, but he has had multiple bankruptcies and failures including his casinos, football team and more. The NY Times discovered past financials that showed he lost more than $1billion over a decade. Trump has lied and exaggerated about his successes so much that he believes he's the greatest person on the planet.

Entitlement. Narcissists believe that they are entitled way beyond the normal individual. If they don't get their way, they become very upset because the world is supposed to revolve around them. Only positive things are supposed to happen to them because they are entitled. They are never to experience negative things happen to them, so if anything bad happens they turn into the super victim.

Leaders don't expect to be handed a silver platter. They accept what life gives them and are grateful for their blessings.

Trump has continually played the victim game whenever his opposition has him cornered. He was the super victim with the Russian inquiry, which he could have let it pass pretty easily. His sense of entitlement believes that he is above the law and can do whatever he wants, which is why he got impeached by the House. The New York Times opinion Let Us All Now Weep for Donald Trump is a classic highlight of this.

Lack Empathy. Because the world revolves around a narcassist, the ability to have empathy for others is nearly impossible. Instead of striving to see things from another's point of view, they demand everything to be catered to their needs and their perspective.

Leadership requires an individual to lead not only those who are like them, but others who are very different from them. This requires empathy.

Trump has never shown empathy for anyone since he has been in office. Instead, he criticizes others who are different, have different views or do things differently. His criticism of Romney for voting to impeach him based on his personal beliefs was outrageous.

Alternate Reality. Narcissists live in a fantasy world. They are delusional and don't accept reality because it often doesn't match the way they see things.

True leaders need to see reality so they can create a vision that will lead to better things.

Trump has self-glorifying illusions about his success, wealth, power, intelligence and more that is pure and simple a stretch to the point of being completely unrealistic.

Driven by Hidden Fears. Narcissists have deep-seated fears of being abandoned or rejected, which comes from their inability to develop deep relationships with others. Though they seemed self-obsessed, they often have a deep sense of insecurity. Because of this, they often fear the worst.

Leaders are not driven by fears. They acknowledge them, but their driving force is to hit their next objective.

Trump has tweeted about so many conspiracy theories that he must be obsessed with a wide variety of fears. The New York Times recently demonstrated this with their article A Presidency Increasingly Guided by Suspicion and Distrust.